Rachael Hunter and Jarret Stoll, Wedding Called Off

Rachael Hunter and Jarret Stoll called off their wedding.

I don’t know who called it off, but I think it was a good choice. When I look at the inner details of their relationship, I see what usually ends being more of a friendship than what they were trying to create!

Rachel and Jarret have different Relationship Styles, Rachael is a football Relationship Style, meaning she is the stabilizing one in this relationship while Jarret is the Basketball relationship style, meaning he is the stimulating one the relationship. This can be fine,  if they understand and are comfortable with that difference!

My guess is that Jarret said or did something to “rock the boat” for Rachel, so to speak….since he likes things to be a bit more stimulating, and she likely doesn’t like the boat to be rocked!

This relationship may not be totally over, however, because they do like each other. So we’ll see what happens. Let’s stay tuned…..I think Jarret might try to woo Rachel back! Careful Rachel, know what you want and don't settle for something else.

Patty Gates Firehammer “The Love Consultant”
Do you know your  relationship and plan styles? More about The Compatikey Relationship Mapping system. 

Sustainable Relationships in a Sustainable World

I have a new client that I've been working with since early April, CSRWire.com. CSR stands for corporate social responsibility, they're an internet news wire service that focuses on everything that has to do with sustainable business practices, who has them and who doesn't, that sort of thing. The experience of working among the team of dedicated individuals there has been quite extraordinary on many levels. People working together toward a common goal, harnessed to a shared passion for saving the world from unsustainable business and living practices makes for a pretty compelling work environment!  It has heightened my awareness of my own personal passions, sustainable relationships, and a sustainable natural environment within which to enjoy those relationships. After all what good are sustainable relationships without a healthy planet to enjoy them on?

One of the leaders of this organization is particularly fascinating to me, Mr. Joe Sibilia. He is a visionary thinker was an unbelievably fast mind. I liked him the moment we met.  But at the same time I knew we were very different and my experience with Compatikey gave me a pretty good idea where those differences were. because I could know about invisible differences I could adapt to his styles and get the most out of the relationship.  Not just for me but for both of us!

I was nearly certain that Joe was a Basketball / Pencil, while I am a Football / Pencil. Those are our Relationship and Plan Styles. I wasn't about to try and navigate what was certain to be an unpredictably exciting work relationship without first confirming what I thought to be true. For that I use Compatikey. It turns out  my instincts were correct, here's my result with Joe. 

 

Because I have this tool to clearly identify the differences that I suspect, I am in a position to make this relationship smoother than it might be if we blindly tried to navigate a relationship with certain hidden differences. Joe and I both benefit from the fact that I have this understanding of him and how our relationship mixes, and he doesn't even know that I'm doing it!

• Relationship  Style: I understand our difference in Relationship Style, so I can adjust accordingly. In my experience he's more of a moving target, while I tend to be more still as he moves around me.  ....Around everyone for that matter!
• Plan Style: I accept and enjoy the fact we are both Pencils. My experience of sameness like that in the plans style is that we both adjust quickly and easily to a changing and fast-paced environment. 
• Stress Management: Joe has a very high tolerance for stress, and it's a good thing because he takes an awful lot on juggling multiple companies, a family life all while being a visionary and many levels. I on the other hand have a low tolerance for stress. My awareness of that allows me to know when to say when for myself.  In this relationship it's just good to know and watch the differences!
• Chemistry: Joe and I have an unbalanced 3, 1, 1 chemistry.  My experience of that is that while I get the impression  from Joe that he likes me, he probably has made a much bigger impression on me than I have on him.  I've seen this 3,1,1 combination a lot in my life  and I'm very familiar with how it feels. My father, my 2 sisters and my first wife were all 3,1,1 with me. It's no wonder Joe reminds me a little bit of my father on that level. That's a good thing by the way. 
  
• Resonance: Joe and I have 2,3,2, resonance and my experience of that is the feeling that we've known each other for a long time, perhaps even in another life. It's a feeling that centers in the region of the heart. Having a tool to identify aspects of relationships on such subtle levels has given me the choice to identify which resonance levels I've come to appreciate most in my relationships. I like high resonance levels and my working relationship with Joe confirms that once again. 
• Inner Style:  Joe and I have an inner style that is known as level 3 or smooth and easy.  It's like we dance to the same music in our lives even though we can't hear the others music. My experience of this with Joe is a familiarity and an ease in the way we look at things. We have a great deal in common that way. 

More Sustainable relationships happen by knowing as much as you can about yourself and others.  The more you know the easier it is to adapt to people, and accept them for who they are. It also helps me to realize how naturally perfect they are even when they are different than me in ways that are beyond the ability of my eyes to see.

I invite you to know what I know about myself and all of those around me and of course to reap the benefits of that understanding, Your life will look and feel better as your understanding leads to acceptance which leads to peace however you see it.  Here's trial subscription link. Help yourself

What Is Relationship Mapping?

Relationship Mapping, is the same as any other mapping. The concept of mapping, maps and how we use them to orient ourselves with regard to where we are, where we've been and where we might want to be is a familiar one!

Helpful Definitions:

map⋅ping  /ˈmæpɪŋ/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [map-ing]

-noun

1.	the act or operation of making a map or maps.

map  (māp) 
-noun 

1. 1. A representation, usually on a plane surface, of a region of the earth or heavens.
   2. Something that suggests such a representation, as in clarity of representation.

Maps are useful because they put things in a scale that allows us to see very big pictures all at once.  Like if you stand on the corner of Broadway and 42nd St in New York City and look around, you can only see a few blocks in either direction.  But with a map,  you can see the entire region laid out before you which makes it much easier to get  anywhere you might want to go. Maps are cool! GPS is even cooler, but that's another subject.

Relationship Mapping is about putting the significant relationships from the entire span of our life into a view that allows us to see them in a useful way all at once, like the New York City map shows you the entire city  all at once. Once you've mapped your personal relationships You have an opportunity to quickly see what specific groups of our personal relationships might have in common.  For example, if you imagine your entire life as a map, and the relationships from the very beginning are landmarks on that map, you can group certain relationships as having been favorable or not favorable according to your experience. The Compatikey Relationship Mapper allows you to look at those groups of your favorable or unfavorable relationships in such a way as to be able to see what if anything the relationships in the group have in common.

Here's what that looks like:
These relationships are my top personal favorites from my life.

 

You don't have to look at them very closely or even understand the visual language, to see that the relationships that I have favored have a lot of sameness and balance when represented by the Compatikey relationship mapping tool. 

Now, here's my most challenging relationships

 

 

Once again, you don't have to look very hard to see that differences and imbalance is the pattern for my challenging relationships. 

What's important and validating about using this tool is that the active ingredient is the opinion that I bring to the process.  I am the one that decided what group each individual relationship ended up in.  Of course, I can only do that in hindsight after having been in the relationships long enough to decide whether I was enjoying it about!

 

Now that I've used the mapper to let my own past relationships show me which combinations have historically worked for me in which combinations don't, I have the power to get where I want to get in any of my new or existing relationships. It's simple,  I can choose new relationships for all the usual reasons, plus a new reason, whether or not the new potential relationship has the combination of the work for me or not. I can even  improve existing relationships dramatically because I have a clear understanding of the invisible differences that are part of the challenge in that relationship. Everybody wins!

 

You can do it too. Compatikey is a web-based tool available to anyone with an Internet connection. Here's a free trial.  Compatikey Free Trial Description

Karina & Maksim Want to Wed!

These two love birds are regulars on the hit show  Dancing with the Stars. They just announced that they want to get married by the end of the year. From the outside where we sit, it looks like this couple has all the right ingredients; Youth, great looks, talent, a passion for living and a passion for dance. 

Will that be enough? Doesn't every relationship start out looking that rosie at least to the participants?  Of course they do, that's how it works!  We see, we like, we hookup, we wed!  Aaaahh  if it were only that simple, we would all be happily married........... once!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. In fact  I plan on shouting it from the rooftops until people begin to understand the power in knowing that; 

"Significant and meaningful relationships are far more likely to be based upon what we have in common  than what is different about us."

And that doesn't just mean what is visible and obvious.  Differences and similarities exist on invisible levels as well and that's what relationship mapping with Compatikey is all about. 

We've mapped this relationship, and unless Karina & Maksim become aware of the differences that relationship mapping points out, they are in for some real challenges as the years go by. 

As you can see below, this relationship is dominated  by invisible differences which are marked in blue. Invisible sameness is marked in red. The unmarked categories are middle ground.

 

The kinds of challenges that can result from a difference in Relationship Style can be minimized and managed simply by understanding them, because understanding makes except it's possible. 

If Karina & Maksim were friends of mine, I would go out of my way to make sure they were aware of these differences because I care about them  and I want them to be successful.  Just like I want everyone to be successful in relationships. 

Start mapping your relationships now. Regular maps, the kind you use to travel with help us understand  where we are relative to where we've been and where we want to go.  Unless you actually want to get lost, which can be very cool, you use a map  to make sure you get where you're going quickly and safely. 

Relationship maps aren't any different.  Think about your life for a moment, the memories in your head are really a map of your life, and the relationships you've had our landmarks that in hindsight you have decided were either favorable or unfavorable for you.  By using a relationship mapper like Compatikey to analyze your significant past and present relationships, you get to quickly see what all the relationship landmarks  in your favorable group had in common, as well as what all the relationship landmarks in your unfavorable group had in common. Knowing that  makes it easier to move toward what you want, away from what you don't and improve what you already have  through the understanding you gain. 

The best part about relationship mapping, is there's nothing to be skeptical of because what you're mapping are the relationships and experiences you've already  drawn a conclusion about!  When the pattern of what your best relationships all have in common is revealed to you, there's nothing to doubt  because you're the one that decided they were favorable.  The Compatikey Relationship Mapper, just points out to you what they have in common. 

Start relationship mapping people, the world will be a better place when we all understand how to get what we want, and improve what we have. Yeehaa.

Help yourself:  Compatikey By Invitation Free Trial

Successful Relationship Examples Defined by Sameness Rather Than Difference.

  

Paul Newman and Jo-Ann Woodward

 
John Travolta and Kelly Preston

 

Julie Andrews and Blake Edwards

  
Mary Tyler Moore and Grant Tinker

 

The list goes on and on and on.  

Of Course This Engagement Is off!

Megan Fox and fiance Brian Austin Green have split, Usmagazine.com has learned.
"The relationship had run its course," an insider tells Us Magazine exclusively. "It's completely amicable, and they are remaining friends."

Another celebrity split in the news! We are not surprised by this announcement here at Relationship Masters. The combinations that defined this relationship beneath the surface rarely sustain satisfying long-term intimate relationships. We profile relationship after relationship that clearly demonstrates what relationship scientists have been saying for for over 2500 years, that we are more likely to sustain long-term meaningful relationships that are based upon what we have in common rather than what is different about us.

Here's what the Compatikey Relationship mapper shows us.

Megan Fox and Brian Austin Green
This relationship is defined by invisible differences as shown circled in blue below.

From My Experience

I've had relationships with the same configuration, and for me, like Megan and Brian, it was challenging. As the relationship grew over time, we found ourselves pushing each other's buttons more and more and an increasing amount of our energy was spent trying to manage the relationship, rather than exploring and enjoying what life put before us.

This doesn't mean that this configuration is an automatic death sentence for relationships. It's only a death sentence when you're not aware of the invisible differences because you can't understand what you are not aware of.

The bottom line is that all relationships have the potential to succeed, but where invisible differences are involved awareness and understanding of those differences is necessary in order to get past the kind of conflict arises from those differences.

Start mapping your own relationships and gain the advantage of understanding any invisible invisible differences that exist. It may be over for Megan and Brian, but it's never too late to develop an understandings that can allow you to take your relationships to another level of success and satisfaction.

Compatikey by Invitation Only Subscription

Curious about the results of successful Hollywood relationships? Compatikey celebrity results.

A Road Map for Relationships

When it comes to travel, there are two groups of people; the tourist who knows where they want to go and what landmarks they want to see, using every means available to get to them fast. Then there is the Explorer, with no specific destination or timeline in mind, content to discover the good and the not so good in hindsight, creating their own roadmap of destinations and landmarks along the way.

It occurs to me that I can apply that same model to what I do in my life and my relationships. I imagine I am building a map of my entire life. Each relationship that I experience, by choice or by circumstance, eventually becomes a landmark on my map. In time, I look back on each landmark relationship and categorize it as having been either mostly favorable or mostly not favorable. At that point I mark each accordingly on my map.

Like any good map, mine has a legend which indicates that the favorable relationship landmarks are shown as Red, while the not so favorable relationships are shown as Blue. As my experience grows, so does my map and I find myself moving toward some relationships, and avoiding others depending on whether they remind me of a Blue one or Red one that is already on my map.

That makes sense to me because as a human being I'm basically striving to seek pleasure and avoid pain, all the time. There's only one problem with the system, my experience proves I really only know what color a relationship ultimately will be on my map in hindsight. I see that I choose relationships because I think they're going to be red until the passage of time says they're blue. That explains why made some of the same mistakes more than once.

Looking at relationships in this way I suddenly realize that even though I think like the tourist I'm acting like the Explorer. Like the tourist, I know what I want but like the Explorer I don't have a decent map to guide me reliably away from Blue Relationships and towards Red Relationships.

To be completely honest, I have to say that I don't want to be an explorer of relationships. I want to be an explorer of life. In order to do that I need to be in Red relationships that give me energy rather than a blue relationships that consumes my energy with their need for constant management and processing.

I know what I want, so here's my plan. I have my map and its full of my relationship landmarks that are either Red or Blue, favorable or not. In order to make my map useful like a tourists map, I need more information about my relationship landmarks than my senses were capable of giving me when I chose them. It occurs to me, that the key to my success with this map is that I've already decided which ones are blue and which ones are red. Now I just have to look back and see what all the red ones have in common, and what all the blue ones have in common. That way I can begin choosing Red relationships more often than the Blue ones. To do that, I need a tool that can show me what I could not see in the first place because of the limits of my natural human senses.

That tool is Compatikey. By looking at all my landmark relationships I can immediately identify what combinations the red ones have in common and what combinations the blue ones have in common. Can I believe what I see? Of course, it's my map so I was the one who decided which group each of my relationship landmarks ended up in. Red or Blue.

My Red Relationships

My Blue Relationships

Because I understand what this simple visual language is showing me, my map absolutely cannot mislead me, because I'm the one that decided which are Blue in which are Red relationships! Like the tourist I use my map to get what I want as fast as possible. In this case, it's Red relationships, the favorable ones. Now I'm free to use my energy to explore life and have its experiences magnified by the compatible relationships my own experience taught me to choose. Life is good..... on purpose rather than by a stroke of luck.

Map your relationships. Since you've already made up your mind about them you might as well learn something about what makes your red ones red and your blue ones blue. In fact, just knowing can allow you to change some Blue ones to Red.

Compatikey by Invitation Only Subscription

The Footballs, Basketballs, Pencils and Pens you see in the result have nothing to do with sports or writing. If they seem silly to you, withold judgement and learn that those icons were carefully chosen for 3 important reasons.

1. They are almost universally recognizable images symbols irrespective of language or culture
2. They remain recognizable even when shown in very small sizes.
3. Their ability to metaphorically represent a specific sameness or difference between people.

Why Angela Kinsey and husband Warren Lieberstein's split is friendly!

The Office's Angela Kinsey has separated from her husband of eight years, Warren Lieberstein, Us Weekly exclusively reports in its new issue.
The actress, 37, and Lieberstein, a writer, welcomed their first daughter, Isabel, last May.

However, her rep told Us Magazine, the break is friendly: "Angela and Warren are taking some time apart to ­figure out what is best for their relationship."
Continues the rep: "They continue to be friends."

Some couples can continue to be friends, and some couples find that impossible. Compatikey gives us a look at information  that helps us understand the difference between couples that can be friends and couples that can't be friends after a breakup.

Angela and Warren's Compatikey Result

 

The first thing that jumps out about this result and the fact that they can remain friends, is that there are no what I like to call crazy making ingredients so often found in couples that torture one another!  Crazy making ingredients revealed by Compatikey are usually;

1. Different Relationship style and Plans Style's 
2. Combined with a some strong Chemistry Results
3. And a level 1 or level 4 Inner Style. 

Below are two examples of a publicly known relationships that have "Crazy Making" invisible combinations of ingredients! Lisa Nowak and and William Oefelein. You remember Lisa Nowak right, she is the female astronaut  who drove across the country wearing astronaut diapers to attack her lovers other lover!  Here's their result:

Lisa Nowak and William Oefelein

  

Here's another example that we've written about before. Madonna and Guy Ritchie 

 

 

The record of these public relationships is proof of a problem that couldn't be seen in advance, otherwise why would they have chosen the relationship?

Note the almost identical result to Lisa Nowak and the relationship that literally drove her crazy enough to drive across the country and astronaut diapers and then attack her lovers lover! Coincidence? Definitely not!

Madonna and Guy Ritchie did not end in a publicly crazy way, but Madonna publicly commented that she actually believed a soulmate is the person that pushes your buttons every day. Ultimately, they grew weary of having their buttons pushed every day which represents the absence of invisible common ground that so many  successful long-term relationships are defined by. 

Take a look at your own past relationships, if you have any that you remember as being very hot in the beginning, but getting a little or a lot crazy near the end, you will almost definitely find a similar set of combinations like those not enjoyed by Madonna and Guy, and Lisa and William.

There's never any reason not to know everything the you can about yourself and your partner.  Too many people resist tools like Compatikey saying "I don't want to know any bad news!  There's no such thing as bad news from something like Compatikey, because if your relationship is "bad news" you already know it! The information that you learn about your relationships from Compatikey helps you to turn any challenges that you may already be experiencing into strengths through understanding each other better.

Be proactive and try Compatikey. It's Free Because You're Here! Compatikey Free Trial Subscription